Keith and I have decided to just let our doctor and the hospital pick Cooper's birthday. As soon as I get my heart set on him having a specific birthday, I'm sure my doctor won't be available that day, or the hospital will be completely booked. So we'll just see what he tells us on Monday. This weekend is going to be full of house cleaning and project completing. I am hoping to get all my floors vacuumed and mopped, all the laundry caught up as best as possible, Garrett's room picked up and our bedroom cleaned. I should be doing one or more from that list right now, but I have seriously lost my motivation to get up off the couch this past week. I'm so glad I had the energy that I did up until this point because the important stuff is done and ready to go. But now I plan what I'm going to do around the fact that I HAVE to get up to go to the bathroom. Once I'm up for that reason, I make myself do a few other things before crashing on the couch again. It's borderline ridiculous, really.
At some point this weekend, we are planning on celebrating Father's Day. I already have the gifts and the card, so I just need to plan a special meal for one of the next couple of days and hopefully he'll feel celebrated. I think he'll really like the gifts we've bought for him and I know Garrett is really excited to give them to him. He goes in my closet every day to talk about Daddy's surprise. This morning he asked me where his surprise was. As if he should get a surprise anytime someone else gets one. But I did tell him that he'll be getting a surprise soon and just left it at that. We've bought him a Leapster that we'll be giving him when he meets Cooper for the first time. We plan on telling him that it's from Cooper, in hopes of smoothing the transition for him, at least a little bit.
He has been noticing babies a lot lately. We went to Target on Monday (and bought him a new car seat for almost half the original price! I was so excited!) and he was talking about all the babies we saw. One of which was crying and he said "Cooper's not going to cry." and I told him he most definitely will cry. I don't want to upset him, but at the same time, I don't want him to have some strange expectation of what it will be like to have a new baby in the house.
I feel like I'm going into each day, each activity, with the thought in the back of my mind that this may be the last _____ until Cooper is born. I'm also trying to soak in the pregnancy as best as I can. God willing, this is my last baby, so these next few days are bittersweet for me. On one hand, I'm very ready to be done being pregnant, as all women are in the last weeks/month of pregnancy. But on the other hand, it's hard to believe my pregnancy is almost over and that I won't be experiencing this again. There's definitely something to be said about being pregnant and the connection that is there with that unborn baby and the excitement that everyone usually has as a pregnancy draws to a close.
A part of me feels like I'm mourning the passage of one stage of my life into the next. Up until this point, I've been anticipating my 2nd and final child, the thoughts of someday being pregnant with this child and everything that goes with it. And now I'm at the end of that. Moving on to being fully invested and focused on raising my 2 boys and everything that entails. No more looking forward to when we might have another baby, or wondering if I may be pregnant. And while all of this may sound like I'm not done having kids, I really and truly am. It's more about the fact that things change and sometimes it's hard when that change happens. Even when it's the best, most exciting change that you might experience. It's still hard to move on to that next stage, that next step. I don't even know if this is making sense or if it's just my weird pregnancy hormones talking at this point.
Assuming my doctor doesn't send me straight to the hospital on Monday after my appointment, I plan on blogging at least one last time to just get my final doctor's appointment info down here on the blog.
5 comments:
I completely understood what you were talking about about the whole moving in to another stage of life after Cooper is born. I have had the same thoughts since Tyler was born, that I am no longer in the process of having my family, but it's done, they are all here and there won't be anymore "with our next baby..." sentences. I'm not having a very hard time with that change though, probably because I am so glad we don't plan to have anymore. If we were thinking we would have a fourth that would just make me feel even more tired! :) I think you'll feel better about that new tranisition of roles in your family once Cooper is here and you are living the newborn life. :P I'll be praying for you on Monday! We can't wait to see pictures of Cooper!
I have to tell you Lydia, I've made several comments to my mom at how much energy you have had through your pregnancy and how you've been able to get things done. I read some of your posts about what you've gotten done and I'm like "How the heck does she have the energy to do all that??" I barely get through a load of dishes and have to take a 2 hour nap! Now we're beginning the process of moving into our house and I know it's going to be slow and painful because I just completely dread it and hate packing. Cooper's room looks great and I'd say you've done quite enough and should sit and relax until whatever day next week you end up having him. I can't believe you'll have a baby by the end of next week either. That must be such a surreal feeling. I can't wait till I'm in your shoes. I'm hoping that at my next appointment (when I'm 37 weeks) they'll say I'm dialated enough and that I should come in to be induced the next week. Trying not to get my hopes up but it's hard not to when you're so ready to have the baby and go back to feeling normal physically. Enjoy this last weekend with your family of 3!!!
Lydia, you are down to the wire now...we will be anxiously waiting to hear when you're having Cooper! It sounds like you're ready! I'm like Steph, you have had alot of energy to get things done! I think that's great!
You've done great through both of your pregnancies, Lydia! I can't believe how you've seemed to breeze through them! Now if just raising kids could be that easy! :) I too understand what you're feeling, but by the time I had a 5th, I was READY to be completely out of that stage of my life! :)
I understand what your saying about this being bittersweet. I can totally imagine what that must be like. I'm def not ready to hit that stage yet.;o)In some ways you probably can now make "future" plans for different things b/c you know you won't be pregnant at that point and can move ahead knowing what ages your kids will be at that time.I felt kind of sad reading your words although I do believe you when you say you're done. It still seemed kinda sad. Anyway good luck and rest up as much as possible.
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