One Year

One year from today, I will be preparing myself and Garrett for his first day of school. Laying out clothes, fixing a lunch, getting his backpack ready, stuffing Kleenex into my purse and all available pockets on whatever I will be wearing that day. Just generally rushing around, trying to make it to school on time along with everyone else.

Can I just say that I'm not ready? That typing this actually gives me great feelings of apprehension and lots of sadness? Yes, I know that's life, kids grow up, they start school, but it really does feel like this has come up on me so fast. I remember when I was teaching school, I used to silently make fun of the parents who would be seen leaving the kindergarten hallway on the first day of school in tears. I always thought those kids looked plenty big to be bringing to school and I couldn't figure out why in the world parents would be sad about this day when they knew it would eventually come. I want to go back to that old me and slap her a little.

Yesterday morning at church our pastor talked about a tradition he started with his boys where they would say a quick prayer when they dropped their boys off at school every morning while they were still in the car. He started this when his oldest son was in kindergarten. His son just recently turned 16 and will now be driving himself to school so those mornings of his dad praying for him in the school parking lot before he walked into the building are a thing of the past. Just hearing that story made me tear up a little. How ridiculous am I.

What I do plan on doing is to attempt to savor this next year. Do breakfast out on occasion, go fun places during the day while school is in session for everyone else, just generally try to soak up these remaining 364 days I have of being the main focus for my child. I will soon become someone on the sidelines along with many other someones: teachers, coaches, principals, friends. I'm just not ready for it yet.

Getting Ready

Today the boys and I stepped out to do some school supply shopping.

Garrett has been going to mother's day out/preschool for the past 3 years, so buying supplies for him is nothing new. But it was different to be buying supplies for 2 kids instead of one. Especially since Cooper will only be 14 months old when he starts going this fall. I waited until Garrett was 2 before I sent him for the first time. But now that I'm working at the church again, I have no other choice but to put him in MDO for 2 days a week (though he may only end up going once a week. We'll see how he does. And how I handle it.)

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not a mom that must be with my kids 24/7. I relish opportunities that will afford me a bit of a break, even going so far as to volunteer to mow our yard when Keith is home in order to have some "me" time on the mower. Yes, I'm weird. But I will admit to some guilt over putting Cooper in "school" so young. I feel like I should wait one more year, but I also keep reminding myself that Garrett was in daycare for the first year of his life, so that basically compensates the amount of time that both will ultimately end up spending away from my care. But I still can't lose the guilty feeling.

Back to supply shopping, I will confess to feeling a bit of a "rush" when getting the supply list for the first time. As well as going up and down the supply aisles at the store. I always loved that part of "back to school" when I was growing up and I even enjoyed it the years that I taught school. Stocking up on crayons for a quarter and notebook paper for a buck was always fun for me.

With the boys going to MDO at our church, we have to buy additional supplies that I would assume are not included on a public school's supply list. Items like rolls of paper towels (4 per child) and boxes of baby wipes (also 4 per child. And these are obviously for clean-up. And dirty diapers.) Throw in things like paper plates, ziplock bags, and kleenex, on top of the usual suspects, we had a bunch of supplies in our cart this morning. And subsequently in a closet for now until Meet the Teacher day in a few weeks.

Garrett wasn't too happy to discover that he wasn't getting a new backpack, but Cooper was. I've tried to get Garrett's backpacks to last for 2 years before buying another one. His current backpack is only a year old, so I told him he would use it again this year and then get a new one when he starts kindergarten. But he did get a new lunchbox. Mostly because I hated the one he had last year. It had 2 compartments, which I did not use because I didn't want to have to worry if Garrett would remember to check the second one at lunchtime. So I would cram all of his food into one compartment just to be sure he got it all.

And on a side note, they really don't have backpacks for little kids. Sure if Cooper was into Cars or Toy Story, I wouldn't have had a problem getting him one, but he's not there yet (and I know it really doesn't matter. But I didn't want Garrett "borrowing" Cooper's). I found one Elmo backpack, but it was tiny. I know the main item that goes into their backpacks is a folder and that backpack wasn't near big enough for one. So we settled on Hot Wheels.

The part that I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around is Cooper taking naps on a nap mat, on the floor, with other 1 and 2 year olds around him. That should be interesting.