Signs that you're a mom...

You make no qualms about sniffing the diapered bottom of a baby in order to determine what "that smell" is.

You deliberately throw yourself into the path of vomit in order to avoid scrubbing it out of the carpet. It's much easier to clean vomit out of your clothes than to get on your hands and knees and attempt to get it off the floor.

You're thrilled when you find a sippy cup under the bed and discover it only had water in it. Nobody, I repeat, nobody wants to find one under the bed with milk in it.

You never lick anything off your hands anymore. Who knows if you would be licking cheese dip, baby squash, or baby poop, they all look the same.

You don't even blink when the baby eats a Cheerio off the floor (only in your own home of course. You go into hysterics if the baby eats anything off the floor anywhere else.)

In your purse you have: a wallet, lotion, makeup, receipts, a hot wheels car, a bag of cheerios, a sucker, and some baby wipes. You might even find a bagged, dirty diaper on a bad day.

You become MacGyver when it comes to attempting to baby proof other people's homes. Dining chairs turned on their side make excellent baby gates in a pinch.

You aren't surprised in the least when you get in bed and find a pacifier and GI Joe under your pillow.

You never automatically sit down on the toilet when you have little boys. You always check for 2 things 1. Is the seat down? 2. Do you see any pee on the seat?

You don't walk too closely to anything that the baby could grab when you're carrying said baby. He just might grab that crystal bowl that someone gave you as a wedding gift and pull it off the kitchen bar, smashing it into a thousand pieces. Hypothetically speaking of course.

You somehow manage to get by on 2-3 hours of sleep several nights in a row.

You love your kids heart and soul, but you get really excited when you get to go grocery shopping by yourself. Or take a shower knowing that someone else is watching the kids and you don't have to wash with shampoo suds in order to save time.

You think back on your pre-motherhood days fondly and with some regret that you didn't take advantage of that kid-free time more. But you also wouldn't give up your kids for anything. Except maybe a 10 day cruise to the Caribbean.