This morning I had some errands that I needed to run. So I strapped the boys into the car and we headed to town. We stopped by the post office, picked up McDonald's for lunch (a special treat which we rarely do), and dropped some things off at our church. As we were heading back home to eat our lunch on the back porch, we got behind a funeral procession. That's not completely unusual. I'm sure most of you have had this happen from time to time. But rather than speculate whose grandma or grandpa had passed away, I knew who this funeral procession was for.
A junior high boy from our town.
I didn't know the boy, I've never met him or anyone in his family as far as I'm aware. I heard the story of his accidental death over the weekend and even helped with the food for the meal to be served to his family after the funeral was over (which was what we had dropped off at the church), but I didn't expect to actually see the funeral procession. The hearse carrying somebody's son whose life was cut way too short. The vehicles of many grieving family and friends.
It hit me a lot harder than any other funeral procession I've seen or even participated in. I'm sure it didn't help that Kris Allen's song "Live Like We're Dying" just happened to come on the radio, but I just sat in the car and cried and prayed for that family while I watched them drive to the cemetery.
Somedays I wish we knew the reasons why things happen. Why a 2 year old dies from cancer. Why a 13 year old boy dies in an accident. Why a 27 year old mom dies in a tornado. It is hard to comprehend why any of these scenerios are allowed to happen.
Over the weekend I read a book called "I Will Carry You" by Angie Smith. 2 years ago, she found out that the baby she was pregnant with was incompatible with life. She and her husband had to make some difficult decisions, but ultimately they chose to carry the baby to term and deliver her and hope for a miracle. I can't imagine what the last months of her pregnancy was like. Knowing that the baby moving inside you will never grow to be an adult. In the book, she shared all of the things she and her husband and their older daughters tried to do in order to live a full life for their daughter Audrey, during the months of her pregnancy. They took lots of trips and did lots of fun things, the whole while they would tell Audrey all about it while she was nestled safely in her mom's belly. Angie said she had never felt more close to her unborn babies than she did with her pregnancy with Audrey.
Angie chose to deliver the baby by c-section because her doctors told her Audrey would not survive a vaginal delivery, she was too fragile. They didn't know if she would even survive birth period, but Angie was willing to undergo surgery in order to have even a few brief moments with this daughter that she hadn't seen. Audrey lived for 2 and a half hours before she passed away. Reading this story was both heartbreaking, but also encouraging. Angie and her family lived through something that would break most of us, but they came out on the other side of it with their faith in tact.
Sometimes I wonder if God chose me to endure a life-changing, catastrophic event, would I come out on the other side of it without any bitterness?
I honestly don't know the answer to that.
1 comment:
I've wanted to read that book! I cried and cried when I first read her blog and story. The picture of her three girls with the Mickey ears sitting in front of Cinderella's Caste with the little hat on the ground next to them KILLS ME! Have you seen that one? The point of the message of the picture is so beautiful and sad it kills me.
I think now that we have children, the death of other children is all the more sad to us. It is so hard to see the point in why God allows innocent children to die.
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