Out of the mouths of 4 year old comedians

On Saturday we went, as a family, to get Keith some new clothes, mostly pants. I made Keith try them on before we bought them because the type of pants that he buys are notorious for not fitting right, even when they're the proper size. So Keith took Garrett with him into the dressing room to try everything on. As most dressing rooms are, these had no ceilings which made it very easy for many people in the store to hear what's being said behind closed doors. Especially when the person doing the talking is a 4 year old who doesn't understand volume control. Garrett asks Keith "Why do you not wear a shirt when you're sleeping? Why do you only wear underwear?" Of course I couldn't hear Keith's response, if he even responded. But later that evening he asked me if I heard what Garrett said. I gently told him, "Yes, I heard. Along with everyone else in the store." He was thrilled.

Cooper loves to crawl between Garrett's legs when Garrett is trying to do something on our Wii Fit board. Garrett hates this, as you can imagine. So when Cooper started doing this the other day, Garrett said "If you don't stop, I'm gonna brush your teeth!" I asked him what that meant exactly and he said, "Cooper doesn't have to brush his teeth, so I'm gonna make him." Of course Cooper has no teeth to brush at the moment, but Garrett doesn't care about that small technicality. The ironic thing is that Garrett seems to like to brush his teeth. He randomly will do so when he's in the bathroom at different points during the day.

Garrett and I were looking at some pictures of my family the other day and I was explaining that my siblings are my sisters and brothers just like Cooper is his brother. Garrett said "I don't want to be Cooper's brother. I want to be Christie and Jesse's brother." Christie and Jesse are my 2 youngest siblings. Apparently they're more appealing in this category than brother who drools alot.

Garrett saw a picture of my dad the other day. In the picture, my dad is holding a real snake. (He's not one of those snake-handling preachers, by the way. He was at some museum where they had a live snake people could hold.) Garrett said, "Who is that snake that Pawpaw is holding? Is that Jake? Did he turn into a snake?" Jake is his cousin. And no, I have no idea what that means, but Garrett thought it was a hilarious joke.

I'm obviously raising the next Jerry Seinfeld.